Your very personal values are your compass in life. If you know them, it is easy to make the right decisions in life and to pursue goals that are worthwhile for you.
Values are your fundamental beliefs that will guide your decisions and actions along the path to a happy and successful life. Discovering and defining this inner territory is the only route to authenticity.
There are countless theories about happiness and fulfillment.
What does a person need to be happy?
What does happiness mean?
And how do you achieve it?
Happiness research has been dealing with these questions for decades. And as diverse and revealing as these theories may be, in the end, individually perceived fulfillment has a simple denominator: Happy are those who live in harmony with their values.
To live in harmony with one's values is easier said than done. But what is stopping us from living according to our values?
You can’t do what you say if you don’t know what you believe.
You can’t do what you say if you don’t believe in what you’re saying.
To do that, you would first have to know them. Often they are shaped by our social, cultural or family context, and we are not able to define them. It might be that we have adopted values from others or society that don't fit us, our needs and our deepest, most authentic core. If we are not aware of this, we believe that these values are important and that we also have to align ourselves to them in order to lead a happy and fulfilled life.
For example, we may start a family, even though we actually dream of discovering the world and living an unconventional life. Or we long deeply for real human connection, but we work 60+ hours a week because we think we have to do it to fulfill the expectations of our parents.
Finding your true values is crucial
One of my coaching customers was a successful manager who came to see me as he had the feeling that his life is being more and more "empty" - despite the fact that all external elements, such as family, job, and other life circumstances, looked fine.
When we looked at his values it turned out that he had already thought about those and had determined the values professionalism, perseverance, and integrity for himself. After a more in-depth discussion we found out that these values were actually conditioned by his current work environment - and not by what he was really carrying in his heart. His true values were honesty, transparency, and perseverance.
Can you imagine how it changes his every-day decision-making and his way of executing tasks, especially when interacting with people, being guided by honesty and transparency instead of professionalism and perseverance...?
Your personal values help you to realize certain goals in life that drive, motivate and inspire you.
However, if you do not know your personal values, you sometimes set yourself goals that do not correspond with your authentic self. It is therefore important to know your very own personal values before you go into setting your goals.
Getting clarity about your values grounds you in who you really are and in who you want to be. No matter whether you are an artist, a doer, an adventurer or a family person – you can only be happy if you know your own values and consistently live by them.
What can you do to find out what they are?
Sign up for one of my transformation events to do deep emotional work to help you discover patterns and behaviors you might want to change.
And watch out for my book "SHINE - Step out of your shadow" that will be published before the end of May!